Unhappy in your current position and desperate to make a move? Completely content but looking for opportunities for professional growth? Today’s your lucky day. Patriarch Partners founder and CEO Lynn Tilton, she of Christmas cards, jello shots, whipped cream off her breasts, and “The number one lie people tell is ‘I won’t come in your mouth‘” fame is looking for a personal assistant. Think you’re up for the challenge? Here are the non-negotiable prerequisites and responsibilities you’ll face (emphasis ours).

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