White-shoe? Prestige? Why do we rank law firms like we’re sitting in a country club during the Eisenhower Administration? The ATL Power 100 Firms are the ones that move the market. Today. These are the firms that set the pace on lawyer pay and compete for the wealthiest clients. These are the market leaders. In order.

Let’s be clear: in this market, the “best” law firm is the one that will employ you. If you have a job, congratulations, you’re number one. But the methods for evaluating the large law firms that are best at the business of practicing law are stuck in the past. The new normal means new challenges for firms. Is bigger always better? More revenue sounds nice, unless the firm is overly reliant on a few rainmakers who can jump ship and leave the rest of the firm scrambling for clients. Surely, the last client who cared about white-shoe status is somewhere trying to find a new ribbon for his typewriter.

With these rankings, Above the Law is trying to capture the strength and relevance of major law firms in today’s market. Who are the market leaders? Which firms are still making and retaining their partners? Where do you want to work? Power, post-recession, is about what you are, not what you used to be.

Click here for the full rankings.

Go f@ck yourself and die.

— Steven M. Regan, a partner at Reed Smith, telling the folks at SCOTUSblog how he really feels, via Twitter.

(What on earth could have inspired Regan to act this way? Keep reading to find out.)

Read more on AbovetheLaw.

Ed. note: This post is sponsored by NexFirm.

These days, getting a Biglaw job is the golden ticket you need in order to make law school pay off. Thousands of students are paying grossly inflated tuition rates, and a Biglaw salary is one of the only ways those students can reasonably pay back their massive loans.

The problem, of course, is that Biglaw jobs are generally awful. They’re not giving you that money for free. A starting salary of $160,000 right out of law school sounds like a great deal, until you realize that $160,000 is just the going market rate for your eternal soul.

So let’s talk about why you would leave Biglaw. Don’t worry, I know many of you won’t leave, at least not now. But if you can, here are ten reasons why you should….

Read more on AbovetheLaw.

Have you been meaning to read Don’t Go To Law School (Unless) by Professor Paul Campos (affiliate link), but prefer consuming your information via infographic? Well, you’re in luck. Connecticut attorney Samuel Browning, with permission from Campos, has created an epic flowchart taking you through the argument of the book from reasons not to go to law school, to tips for reading law school employment statistics.

The whole thing is epic.

Kudos to Browning for putting in all this effort…

Read more on AbovetheLaw.

There’s no better way to introduce this story than by reprinting the opening paragraph of the Sixth Circuit opinion by Judge Raymond Kethledge (citation omitted):

There are good reasons not to call an opponent’s argument “ridiculous,” which is what State Farm calls Barbara Bennett’s principal argument here. The reasons include civility; the near-certainty that overstatement will only push the reader away (especially when, as here, the hyperbole begins on page one of the brief); and that, even where the record supports an extreme modifier, “the better practice is usually to lay out the facts and let the court reach its own conclusions.” But here the biggest reason is more simple: the argument that State Farm derides as ridiculous is instead correct.

Trolls. So. Hard.

Want to know the argument that set off the panel? “Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm is there… with a detailed explanation!”

Read more on AbovetheLaw.

On Wednesday, the Cleveland Browns traded running back Trent Richardson to the Indianapolis Colts for a 2014 first-round pick. This move, which amounts to Cleveland announcing to the world, “we took a two-week stab at 2013 and decided it’s not for us,” has the side effect of relegating Colts running back Ahmad Bradshaw to second-string status.

This is good for the Colts, maybe good for the Browns — assuming they can convert this pick into something worthwhile — and an absolute disaster if Ahmad Bradshaw played any role on your fantasy team. All of a sudden, that reliable second-tier back (though let’s be honest, he was probably never more than a decent Flex #realkeeping) is useless.

Now imagine how much worse it would be if you’d just traded a top 5 QB for a package involving Bradshaw. That’s what happened in one league and the rest of the league vetoed the trade after the real-life Richardson move. But since this league is a law school league, they prepared an appellate brief demanding the trade go through.

It’s a fun read….

Read more on AbovetheLaw.

"I HATE SUMMER ASSOCIATES!"

There’s just something about riding on crowded Amtrak trains that causes Biglaw attorneys to lose all of their inhibitions. From fondling one another to making $300,000 partnership offers to casually discussing future layoffs, their indiscretion knows no bounds. Perhaps they choose to throw caution to the wind because they think no one cares about the business of law, or that no one is really listening to what they’re saying or watching what they’re doing, but that’s simply not the case. We’ve got eyes and ears everywhere, and no one is safe.

Today’s Biglaw blind item occurred on yet another Amtrak train, and deals with some longstanding archetypes: an attorney who “sounded like a real jerk” and a law student who “sounded desperate.” It seems like this attorney has hate in his heart for his firm’s summer associates…

Read more on AbovetheLaw.

Back in June, we got a chance to see an absolutely great response to a cease and desist letter. The author of that response letter, Stephen B. Kaplitt, is an Above the Law folk hero for kicking off his response to an unnecessarily threatening C&D with “obviously [this] was sent in jest, and the world can certainly use more legal satire,” before systematically ripping the opposing attorneys a new one.

Now comes another great response to a C&D letter, and this one may even be better because of the firm on the receiving end.

Teaser: Biglaw smackdown! Snarky footnotes! Spice Girls references! Lollipops!

Read more on AbovetheLaw.

If you’re stuck sitting in your office until all hours of the night wondering (a) how you’ll ever meet someone and (b) how you’ll convince them to take a chance on someone who routinely works until 4 a.m. turning documents while a team of lawyers argue over comma placement, well, you’re in luck!

A major online dating site has your back, publishing a listicle designed to convince their desperate readers why they absolutely should date a lawyer. It could be a good opportunity for these online daters to employ ATL’s advice on seducing a lawyer.

Is this thought-provoking, well-crafted advice about dating lawyers? In a word, no…

Read more on AbovetheLaw.