Dealbreaker Story of the Week – Bonus/Layoffs Watch ’13: UBS

Both are expected to go down shortly. Read more on Dealbreaker.

Dealbreaker Story of the Week: What? Carl Icahn Just Thinks Selling Diet Shakes And Herbal Tea Is A Really Good Business

Yesterday Carl Icahn filed a 13D disclosing a ~13% synthetic stake in Herbalife. There are three possible reasons that Carl Icahn might want to own half a billion dollars worth of Herbalife stock: as a value investment in a company with strong cash flows and a beaten-up stock price, as a toehold in preparation for […]

Dealbreaker Story of the Week – Financial Services Employee Asks New York Times For Help Decoding Hidden Message In Boss’s Thong

Suspending disbelief for a moment and pretending this scenario* actually occurred in real life… I am a 22-year-old man working at a new job on Wall Street. My boss is a very attractive 30-year-old woman. We happen to exercise at the same gym at the same time. We both swim, and the first time we […]

Dealbreaker Story of the Week – Bonus Watch ’13: Deutsche Bank

The good news: there will still be bonuses this year, which is something. The even better news, for the tantric bonus fans among us: it’ll be a while before you see it all. Read more on Dealbreaker.

Dealbreaker Story of the Week – Bonus Watch ’13: Credit Suisse

A few details from the House of Dougan’s bonus communication day. Read more on Dealbreaker.

Dealbreaker Story of the Week – Bonus Watch ’13: Goldman Sachs

A few details from yesterday’s big day. Read more on Dealbreaker.

Dealbreaker Story of the Week – Layoffs Watch ’13: Morgan Stanley (Update)

Cuts are expected to go down in Asia. (Update: and elsewhere!) Read more on Dealbreaker.

Dealbreaker Story of the Week – Instant Message From Bloomberg Salesman To Customer Attempts To Drum Up Interest In New Function For 2013

Presumably those who are ready should type MIND BLOWING DISPLAY <go> and hold onto their hats. Read more on Dealbreaker.

Dealbreaker Story of the Week – Bill Ackman Full Of Praise For Company He Thinks Is A Blood-Sucking Pyramid Scheme

Well, the praise was brief but extravagant, specifically “this is the best managed pyramid scheme in the history of the world,” which I at least would be proud to have on my resume, but I might be in the minority there. What do you think Ackman’s goal was in this morning’s 340-slide, nineteen-hour Herbalife presentation […]

Dealbreaker Story of the Week – This Is A Story About A Person Who Volunteered To Run A Marathon While Hungover For $1,000

The following note was found in our inbox earlier this afternoon… Read more on Dealbreaker.