As you more than likely know by now, the (very) recently resigned IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn is awaiting trial for the alleged sexual assault of a Sofitel maid over the weekend. At this time there are of course many unanswered questions, though slowly but surely, various details are coming out helping us to put the puzzle together. Today, for instance, a Newsweek reporter informs us that the maid? Got the raw end of the stick after DSK, apparently in heat, had already been rebuffed by at least one other target.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn allegedly was looking for love, or at least his version of it, from the moment he checked into his hotel in New York City last Friday, May 13. As soon as he got to his suite, 2806, he called back down to the front desk and asked the receptionist if she would like to join him for a drink, according to sources familiar with the prosecution’s case against the former head of the International Monetary Fund and contender for the presidency of France. The receptionist demurred.

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If you’re going to run up a 6-figure bar tab, consider getting serious and not tuckering yourself out before midnight, failing to break $200k.

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“This is really asking for a second opinion.”

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Jamie Dimon wanted to make the announcement Oprah-style (You get a title change! And you get a title change! And you get a title change!) but there was concern that some employees would pass out from the excitement.

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The Times reports that Mark Haines’ gal-pal is “ready” to jump to CNN.

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We’re told four UBS employees were pulled out of the Stamford office Tuesday, after two of them returned from vacation. Apparently all four “worked in operations and were responsible for securities movements and payments.” Read more »

Not okay?

Jack Rappaport is a business professor at Lasalle University. Last month he gave students an opportunity to earn extra credit by taking a “symposium” on business ethics, for which he charged attendees $150. Their admission fee apparently went toward the hiring of three strippers, if you can even call them that, according to some attendees who were not impressed. “They were just dancing around the room,” said junior Louis Halegoua. “I mean, they had clothes on and stuff.” One, however, was apparently was doing a special kind of dance.

“I don’t know, just kind of laying on top of him. Not laying on top of him but straddling him. It was like a lap dance you could say,” said sophomore Brad Bernardino.

It was during the “like a lap dance” portion of the class that the business school’s dean happened to walk by the room and threw a wrench in the professor’s plans.

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Yesterday Forbes published an article that discussed Patriarch Partners founder Lynn Tilton (allegedly) telling an employee “You expect me to believe that, like I’m going to believe you’re not going to cum in my mouth,” among other anecdotes. Today Tilton has responded on her company website.

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Earlier this morning, legendary hedge fund manager Michael Steinhardt popped by the CNBC studios for a little chat with the Squawk Box crew. Things started off friendly enough, with some conversation about the petting-zoo Steinhardt keeps at his home in Westchester (which includes zebras, camels, albino wallabies and a llama named Angel Mike has been known to french kiss), his rare-plant collection that inspires envy in Martha Stewart, the economy and the Fed. Steinhardt noted that, compared to the rest of what’s going on in the world, “we live in an inland sea of calm waters while surrounding us are turbulent, horrible places,” to which everyone nodded soberly in agreement, unaware of what was coming next. “America seems almost as insular as it has in times past,” Mike continued. “Look at the rest of the world compared to America, look what’s happening all over and then here the biggest thing we have to worry about is how long it will take Buffett to come down to earth…how long until people like you begin to realize his reality and get off some…cloud.”

Oh, he went there.

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Someone who can relate.

A London-based banker has written to the Financial Times with a problem related to her hotness. She says:

I know that you will think this problem is mad, but I fear I’m too good looking for corporate life. As a student I used my looks to make money modelling, but now that I’m in the City I feel they are holding me back. Female colleagues distrust me, while male colleagues are drawn to me, but don’t take me very seriously. My boss has told me that I need to network more. But I find networking events are ghastly, with all the eager men dribbling over me. What can I do, short of turning up to work in a bin liner?

Banker, female, 27

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